


Angels Have Fallen (The darkness around us or is it within?) AU

by Penelope_liz



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Hunters, Angel Castiel, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Dean doesn’t know, Destiel - Freeform, Destiel Angst, Kansas, Kansas (Band) - Freeform, M/M, Song fic, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-10-02 02:37:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17256041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Penelope_liz/pseuds/Penelope_liz
Summary: This is an angsty little one shot inspired by the wonderful song “Angels have fallen” by Kansas.It’s an AU, set in the world of Ep.17 S.4, “It’s a terrible life”Dean doesn’t know about his life as a hunter and works at a company called Sandover Bridge & Iron Company.Castiel, in contrast, does know everything and tries balancing his life with his boyfriend Dean and his angelic duties, without telling Dean the truth about the supernatural.It’s just something small and angsty I wrote. I hope you enjoy!It’s not beta-ed, sorry for mistakes!





	Angels Have Fallen (The darkness around us or is it within?) AU

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Angels have Fallen](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/445520) by Steve Walsh. 



> I don’t really know what I did here but I still hope everyone can enjoy.  
> If you haven’t already, please listen to the song “Angels Have Fallen” by Kansas, that gets you the right feeling, I think. 
> 
> It’s the second song fic I’ve written but it still felt completely different than the last time. 
> 
> I’m done talking bullshit now, please enjoy!

Angels have fallen down from heaven, where did they go? No one could save them, no one forgave them

 

“Sometimes I think it’s you, you know? I mean, of course I know that nothing of this is real but sometimes I just wonder. You seem like you don’t belong here, like you’d rather belong into heaven.”, Dean said, smiling wearily at the ground. 

Castiel showed a grim smile, knowing exactly that he wasn’t allowed to tell Dean the truth, the truth about himself and his past.  
He knew exactly that talking in riddles would bring him nowhere, but it was the only chance he got to subtly give Dean hints. He was going to go insane if everything continued the way it did right now. He wished for nothing more but for Dean to hold him forever but his upbringing in heaven, with all the teachers that wanted to condition them on moral awareness had left its imprint.  
A little part of him still wanted to gain force and strength by living like his teachers had taught him to; by searching for his true vessel, for his sword. 

“I really want to save you, at least for now, even if I can’t keep your demons away from you forever.”, Dean tried again. Dean’s smile slowly faltered and he mumbled:” There’s darkness within the both of us and I don’t think I can stop it. I mean, I really can’t bear to let you go but it feels like you’re living forever while I’m slowly dying. Every time you leave, I hear the people talking, they ask who you are, why you’re always appearing and leaving, and they wonder if you’re near. Cas, I don’t know if I can keep doing this, if I can keep doing us.” 

Castiel took a deep breath, staring out of the window without spearing Dean a glance. The window seemed like a gate to his own conscience and he hoped to find answers to Dean’s questions in there. Dean was right, he had been disappearing frequently in recent months, had left Dean alone more than a few times and he had wondered more than once what Dean felt and what Dean was doing while he was away.

He had told Dean about his experience, even if it were just little pieces, a few stanzas of stories of lives and times he had lived. He always tried not to give away too much, tried to mask himself as an author of tales, out of fear that someone would find Dean and destroy his perfect little world, unaware of his past a hunter, unaware of everything supernatural.  
He loved Dean, he wanted to protect him even if that meant to hide his true self. Whenever Castiel had left for a few days, being called away by a fellow angel or a prayer, he had told Dean a few sweet little lies. Dean had always made jokes about them, called them angelic excuses, as if he had known.  
Cas always tried to be humble, he wanted to spend as much time with Dean as he could, but he just couldn’t refuse when someone begged for help.  
Slowly, his gaze wandered away from the window and to Dean. He looked at his hands, his forehead showing a frown. It was a rare sight to see Dean this serious and sober. Every cell of Dean’s body full of anticipation and angst, and Castiel could feel it in his own chest, the heavy heat of his heart and the horrible feeling of uncertainty. 

When Castiel looked up from Dean’s hands, his lover’s eyes were staring at him.  
“I’m sorry Dean, I really am.” Castiel took a deep breath, “I know I’ve told you before, watch out for signs when I’m away, I’m always with you in some way.”  
Dean nodded. Yes, Castiel had told him about signs before but he really couldn’t understand the relevance of this right now. While Dean was trying to save their relationship, Cas was talking about signs and stories. When Dean looked up again, Castiel was gone. For some reason, Dean knew that Cas was gone for good this time; his heart felt numb and a single tear escaped his eye. 

Save me for now, save me forever  
Hold me so close, I can't bear to go  
There's darkness around me or is it within me  
You're living forever, I'm dying so slow

Cas had always told Dean to look out for signs, to search for the good in people. Sometimes he had wondered why his boyfriend chose cryptic ways like this to tell him about his feelings but he had always been glad to have Castiel by his side. Deep inside, there was a voice telling him to continue, to be thankful. Maybe in another life and time they’d meet again. 

 

The angels have fallen, they've all gone away,  
It's you that must find them by living each day.


End file.
